Polling Before Trolling: What Do Fish Want

“Not in this lifetime, Mom, I won’t be your campaign strategist,” said NonFisherSon firmly.

“If it’s about the fundraising, I already gave all that back,” Fishergarten started.

“First, there is no actual office involved in what you’re planning,” he said. “And second, you are making a mockery of the American election system.”

Fishergarten let that one slide. Besides, she had expected this response. The strategic parallels between a political campaign and a Colorado fishing trip may not be readily apparent, especially to a nonfisherperson.

“OK,” she explained, patiently. “Consider this. How does a politician hook votes in a particular place? Right! The candidate tests the waters, checks the terrain and occupants, gauges what locals like or need, then casts the proper bait or lure to reel in the votes. We only need to apply the elements of a successful campaign to fishing. What’s not to like?”

NonFisherSon stared a minute. “No,” he said.

Fishergarten understood. Her idea might be a bit murky. But the parallels were clear. “Fishing for Dummies” was right. Fishing was going to take more than throwing a wormed-up

Poll results from untested (by Fishergarten) data

line in the water. It would entail careful strategizing to calculate which fish resided where, what each one liked and how to present those variables to that fish so it would bite already. She would, in effect, straw poll the fish and learn which ones liked which lures.

To start, Fishergarten chose Chatfield Reservoir in Littleton, mainly because it was close by on a Thursday afternoon. But this reservoir – one that she had always dismissed as a flood-control measure – claims some seriously big fish. According to “2016 Colorado Fishing” book from Colorado Parks and Wildlife, “1. Min. size for largemouth and smallmouth bass is 15 inches long. 2. Bag and min. size for walleye is 3, 18 inches long. 3. Only 1 walleye longer than 21 inches may be taken per day.”

When Fishergarten crunched that data, it indicated that Chatfield holds large bass and walleye, which sounded far cooler than Fishergarten’s customary “I can’t tell the fish from the lure” size. But what might entice these independent and undecided fish?

A FisherGoogle search landed a few suggestions, like this, this, this and this. 

Fishergarten chose a two-inch feathered popper, mainly

The elusive popper plug pick

because it was in FisherSpouse’s tackle box and looked fun.

“Wait, that’s one of my fav-- … ok … never mind … I guess,” said FisherSpouse.

“Don’t worry,” Fishergarten assured him. “I got this.”

According to “Fishing for Dummies,” Fishergarten’s popper plug pick would float on the water’s surface, while Fishergarten used a jerk-pause-jerk motion to replicate the slow death throes of a real bait fish and generate enough noise to replicate a full-throated convention heckle.

“It’s pretty advanced,” FisherSpouse said doubtfully. “Cast it … ok, now … point at it, then pull … no, to the side … no, point … not like that … to the side.”

To be considerate and respectful of FisherSpouse’s fishing space, Fishergarten moved down the bank a bit, and found a secluded spot.

“Watch that tree,” FisherSpouse hollered. 

Three views of the treacherous terminal tackle graveyard

Fishergarten turned away, drew back and cast. Instantly, the lure caught the wind, flying up to the left and over a branch. There it stopped and dangled, twisting in a breeze. She reeled it in a little, successfully lodging the lure in the wood.

Fishergarten considered her options. Signs of fisherwreck lingered in those branches, a mass of tangled monofilament here, a solitary lead weight there, and a cold March wind rattling the branches. Clearly, she had stumbled upon a terminal tackle graveyard.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, FisherSpouse appeared. He

Fishergarten's lure-retrieval options

took the rod, reeled tightly, then drew it up the line and let it ping back against the rod. The lure dropped. FisherSpouse cut the line and grabbed the floating lure from where it fell into the water. 

“I saw that on the Fishful Thinker show,” he said curtly.

Quietly, FisherSpouse hand-carried his lure back to the tackle box and tucked it carefully into its nest.

It appeared Fishergarten’s straw poll had ended for now, with inconclusive results. But she is open to more experienced persons. So FisherFriends, the polls are still open, now let’s hear it. What’s your vote for best bait for which fish and where? Let us know in the comments section below.